MUGWUMP

The View From Treasure Island

2011-04-07T21:17:00.002-04:00

Yep. I Live Here.

2011-01-29T23:12:00.004-05:00

The San Francisco - Oakland Bay Bridge

This Is Harris.

2011-01-24T20:15:00.009-05:00

He's 13 days old and already giving off that contemplative, old-soul vibe.

This is Max.

2011-01-11T23:15:00.008-05:00

He has a cleft chin and a manly disposition.

This Is Lily Grace (The Antidote).

2010-10-18T17:15:00.016-04:00

You met her after 12 days on earth here. This is 5 months later.

For Sharie

2010-10-18T16:00:00.002-04:00

Oh blessed modern technology! Oh blessed software! Even a reformatted memory card can be recovered. So it turns out, things are looking up.

Argh

2010-10-08T16:04:00.008-04:00

Yesterday was a bad day, the worst in a few months. It started small and then unraveled in the most unexpected and disappointing of ways. In the midst of it, I realized that I had inadvertently deleted 400 pictures of the most precious baby-nugget you’ve ever seen. It was a simple oversight but I still felt stupid, and very angry. So, I cried.

When I finished crying, I cried some more. I thought of my macho bro toughing it out in the stinky hospital trying to make his limbs come back to life. I figured that might put my photo fiasco in some sort of perspective, but I think I mostly just felt very sad.

That’s generally how the day progressed. With crying and thinking. And then I had a hard conversation with someone who I care deeply about. It didn’t go at all as I had imagined it. And that broke my heart a bit. So, naturally, I cried some more.

Here are the few photos that I managed to salvage of sweet Lily. They were the practice shots. Trust me when I tell you that the real ones where absolutely stunning. The background was perfectly soft, her warm naked skin exposed perfectly, and a slobbery smile to top it off.

You’ve read blog posts like this a hundred times over. You’ve heard people recount their bad days and then sum up the story with the perfect antidote. Or at least some sense of poetic justice. Alas, that is not the nature of this post.

Instead, I’d like to acknowledge that bad days happen, feelings get hurt, circumstances change. Such is the reality of our human existence. It happens on a scale so grand I can hardly comprehend it and in ways that blow my bad day right out of the water. I think we ought to open our arms and embrace that fact a bit more earnestly. Give ourselves permission to be sad, to sulk. We’re all bumbling about trying connect with eachother and the world around us. Making mistakes, being unkind, and all with the best of intentions. Yes, cheers to that mess! I think in the midst of it is a superbly sustaining kind of energy. I’m holding onto that. And crying a bit too.

This Is Henry.

2010-10-07T01:04:00.014-04:00

This Is Alex (Again).

2010-10-06T01:45:00.009-04:00

You met him a few months ago here.

This Is Ringo.

2010-09-13T23:55:00.005-04:00

She's a skittish little beast but lovable no less.

Rather Than Go

2010-09-10T00:24:00.001-04:00

Full Moon

2010-09-01T02:16:00.001-04:00

My Bro Needs Some Lovin'

2010-08-28T16:18:00.004-04:00

Find his story here: http://christiansjourney1.blogspot.com

New Ride

2010-08-26T22:21:00.002-04:00

Don't you worry. I got nice, sturdy helmet to go with it.

Zap (The Return Of High Voltage)

2010-08-24T02:27:00.004-04:00

I actually desaturated the colors in these shots. Holy Mother Earth!

Refinery

2010-08-19T23:33:00.008-04:00

I had great hopes for my visit to this strange industrial cluster. It's an odd expanse of land sprung up right in the midst of a vast strech of suburbia. The swath of smoking steeples is almost refreshing in the sense that it flies in the face of the sprawl. There are massive oil tanks, pipes of every size, and power lines for miles. It's breathtaking but not always in a good way. Except on well-traveled paths, there is an inch of coal dust underfoot and the smell of sulfur is thick. You get the idea, it's just my kind of establishment!

It was dusk when I arrived, the ideal time for photos. However, I quickly encountered a problem. The whole place was surrounded by chainlink, barbed-wire fences. The "no trespassing" signs were colorful, freqent, and laden with phrases like "penal code" and "trespassers are subject to...". Normally I would disregard signs like these, writing them off as simple formalities. This time, however, my instict said to stay back. So I did. It was the right choice, I am sure, but I passed up a chance at some radical pictures. For now, these will have to do:

Brutal But Worthwhile (Vineman 70.3)

2010-08-18T00:47:00.010-04:00

At the start (below):
At the finish (below):

The swim was lovely. The bike was nice. The run kicked my trash. My fans were supreme.

Swim 44:14

T1 3:18

Bike 3:37:09

T2 6:24

Run 3:01:12

Total 7:32:18

- This post is for Sir. Thanks for taking pics and being the best kind of brother and friend. -

On My Mind

2010-06-18T00:52:00.002-04:00

Life is full. Good and satisfying. It reveals itself anew every day and thereby delights and sustains me. Oh, sigh…

Go enjoy a few of the things swimming around my head these days:

1. This man’s photography. It’s fresh, earthy, and vintage.

2. Vineman 70.3. It’s a 1.2-mile swim, 56-mile bike ride, and 13-mile run. I’ll be there next month, sweating it out. Whewwww, cleansing breath. Ok, bring it on!

3. Good karma, literally.

4. Larb salad. Rather delicious, in the end.

5. Thoughts on living life in your 20’s.

6. This woman’s creative juices and this woman’s intriguing project.

This Is Alex.

2010-06-06T04:03:00.003-04:00

I Thee Wed

2010-05-30T04:07:00.013-04:00

This was my first time capturing photos for a wedding. Thanks to Bob and Reija for kindly allowing me the honor. I learned very much. Mostly that I have much more to learn.

Serious Face

2010-05-27T03:16:00.004-04:00

Remember when I told you that I would ride my bike for 100 miles to absolutely nowhere? Well, I did just that. On my trainer in the living room, of course. It took a long while. My bum hurt a bit. I don't think I'll ever do that again. But if I do, I'm definitely getting out of the house.

This Is Bob And Reija.

2010-05-22T23:03:00.003-04:00

Today they pledged their love for all eternity, which is a very long time. And yet, maybe just barely long enough.

This Is Lily Grace.

2010-05-21T00:05:00.019-04:00

Do Asian babies take cute to a whole different level, or am I just imagining?

This Is Kingsley.

2010-05-19T00:06:00.009-04:00

Check out that adorably misshapen ear (above). Aww darn, cute.

For Eating

2010-05-16T22:53:00.007-04:00

Ladies and Germs, I'm obsessed with arugula! It's so delicious and spicy. It takes a sandwich to the next level, pairs well with eggs, and stands proudly alone as a salad. Forgive me if this effictively separates me as some sort of foodie elitist. Like Obama, he likes arugula too. Alas, I know nothing about food, hate cooking it, and will eat almost anything happily. But arugula, it has a special place in my heart.

Thus, I present my Sunday dinner: The Open-face Turkey Sandwich

1 slice hearty 9-grain bread (toasted)

Real Mayonnaise

1 slice smoked turkey

Plenty of arugula

Sliced red tomatoes

Sliced Avocado

Salt & Pepper to taste

Holy devil! Is your mouth watering yet? Yeah, mine too.

This Is Ryklyn.

2010-05-16T15:01:00.008-04:00

Things started out poorly, but I think they ended well...

The Wee Ones

2010-05-09T23:38:00.008-04:00

29 days (on the left) and 12 days (on the right). Oh, mercy me!

Chillin' With Newborns

2010-05-08T00:37:00.002-04:00

This Still Brings Me Joy

2010-05-06T00:40:00.001-04:00

Spark

2010-05-02T23:52:00.009-04:00

Ashli brought gigantor, 2-foot sparklers to the suprise party last night. T'was a riotous good time!

Jacobo, you make a lovely heart. It turns out, you also have a lovely heart. Awwwwww.

One Year Of Life Looks Like This

2010-04-28T03:14:00.006-04:00

Maybe you recognize this little man? You met him here, then saw his personality emerge here. Oh joy, he is a beautiful creature!

A Few New Books On My Nightstand

2010-04-25T21:49:00.004-04:00

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down: recently finished.

This book follows the life of an epileptic Hmong child, Lia Lee. Lia and her family immigrate from Laos to California in the early 1990s. The book explores the complicated intersection of the Lee family’s health beliefs in the context of the American Healthcare System. The moral dilemmas run deep here, especially for a Healthcare Provider like myself. I ended the last chapter with far more questions than answers, and a healthy dose of humility. Verdict: worth reading.

One Hundred Years of Solitude: recently finished.

This book recounts the story of a migrant family who settles a town called Macondo. The character development here is vast and, at times, confusing. The author cycles five names repeatedly for various characters throughout the book. The magical impossibilities of the plot left me underwhelmed. It was relatable and unbelievable all at once, and thus I couldn’t find the place to explore it in my mind. That’s not to say there weren’t parts to appreciate. The imagery at times was a marvelous exploration of mad-scientist meets old-world Latin America. Verdict: worth reading if you can appreciate the fantastical elements.

The Political Mind: in progress.

This book challenges our conventional understanding of politics by viewing things with the lens of cognitive science. The author defines political ideologies as a product of our brain’s most basic cellular function. His points are at worst interesting and at best absolutely legitimate. Verdict: worth finishing.

Above: fire alarm in Vegas.

A City In The Desert

2010-04-25T01:17:00.008-04:00

Las Vegas, it seems to me, is rather artificial.

My Vegas Self

2010-04-21T23:21:00.001-04:00

Sin City

2010-04-19T02:12:00.005-04:00

I spent the weekend in Las Vegas. T'was a joyous, good time. Now, I don't drink, smoke, or gamble but I do dance. So, I busted a move. I got down. It was pretty crunked up, if you know what I mean. Yeah, you know what I mean. Word.

I also enjoyed some unbeatable people-watching. The truth is, in a town where most people have a drink in hand by 11am, the watching gets extremely entertaining.

Photo taken in the Bellagio Botanical Gardens. It smells ridiculously amazing in that place!

One Bad Quality Video

2010-04-13T01:07:00.003-04:00

YouTube is performing maintenance of some sort which means I had to use Blogger to upload my video. And Blogger turned the video from poor to very, very poor. My skin is orange, the white balance is horrific, and the whole thing looks fuzzy. Do enjoy, eh?

This China Boy Makes Me Happy

2010-04-09T00:48:00.003-04:00

This is ridiculous. Period. Thus, I love it.

Carquinez Bridge

2010-03-31T17:52:00.004-04:00

Y'all, there is an industrial park near this bridge that is undeniably cool (and admittedly disgusting). I went there to take pictures but the rain had other plans. This was the first and last shot that I got. Don't worry though, I'm going back...to take some pictures and breath in the toxic fumes, naturally.

On Breaking Up

2010-03-29T16:54:00.005-04:00

As I told you, I'm riding my bike for 100 miles. In my living room, on my trainer (seen here). How cool is that? 100 Miles of Nowhere. This is my first "century" as 100-mile rides are generally called. The feat happens in mid-May, exact date TBD. It'll take me 7 hours give or take a bit, so plan on stopping by to say hello, eh?

In other news, I read this in Good Magazine a few months back. It sang to my soul and I can't stop thinking about it. Do read.

Dear Old People Who Run the World,

My generation would like to break up with you.

Every day, I see a widening gap in how you and we understand the world—and what we want from it. I think we have irreconcilable differences.

You wanted big, fat, lazy “business.” We want small, responsive, micro-scale commerce.

You turned “politics” into a dirty word. We want authentic, deep democracy—everywhere.

You wanted financial fundamentalism. We want an economics that makes sense for people—not just banks.

You wanted shareholder value—built by tough-guy CEOs. We want real value, built by people with character, dignity, and courage.

You wanted an invisible hand—it became a digital hand. Today’s markets are those where the majority of trades are done literally robotically. We want a visible handshake: to trust and to be trusted.

You wanted growth—faster. We want to slow down—so we can become better.

You didn’t care which communities were capsized, or which lives were sunk. We want a rising tide that lifts all boats.

You wanted to biggie-size life: McMansions, Hummers, and McFood. We want to humanize life.

You wanted exurbs, sprawl, and gated anticommunities. We want a society built on authentic community.

You wanted more money, credit, and leverage—to consume ravenously. We want to be great at doing stuff that matters.

You sacrificed the meaningful for the material: You sold out the very things that made us great for trivial gewgaws, trinkets, and gadgets. We’re not for sale: we’re learning to once again do what is meaningful.

There’s a tectonic shift rocking the social, political, and economic landscape. The last two points above are what express it most concisely. I hate labels, but I’m going to employ a flawed, imperfect one: Generation “M.”

What does the “M” in “Generation M” stand for? First it’s for a movement. It’s a little bit about age—but mostly about a growing number of people who are acting very differently. They are doing meaningful stuff that matters the most. Those are the second, third, and fourth “M”s.

Gen M is about passion, responsibility, authenticity, and challenging yesterday’s way of everything. Everywhere I look, I see an explosion of Gen M businesses, NGOs, open-source communities, local initiatives, government.

Who’s Gen M? Obama, kind of. Larry and Sergey. The Threadless, Etsy, and Flickr guys. Ev, Biz and the Twitter crew. Tehran 2.0. The folks at Kiva, Talking Points Memo, and FindtheFarmer. Shigeru Miyamoto, Steve Jobs, Muhammad Yunus, and Jeff Sachs are like the grandpas of Gen M. There are lots more where these innovators came from.

Gen M isn’t just kind of awesome—it’s vitally necessary. If you think the “M”s sound idealistic, think again.

The great crisis isn’t going away, changing, or “morphing.” It’s the same old crisis—and it’s growing.

You’ve failed to recognize it for what it really is. It is, as I’ve repeatedly pointed out, in our institutions: the rules by which our economy is organized.

But they’re your institutions, not ours. You made them—and they’re broken.

I was (kind of) kidding about breaking up before. Here’s what it looks like to me: Every generation has a challenge, and this, I think, is ours: to foot the bill for yesterday’s profligacy—and to create, instead, an authentically, sustainably shared prosperity.

Anyone—young or old—can answer it. Generation M is more about what you do and who you are than when you were born. So the question is this: Do you still belong to the 20th century, or the 21st?

Love,

Umair Haque

Haque is the director of the Havas Media Lab and author of the website Edge Economy, from Harvard Business Publishing. He is a brand advisor and writer with thoughts on how companies can better serve our society. He wrote this manifesto a few months ago, and we couldn’t say it better ourselves.

Read more: http://www.good.is/post/the-good-100-umair-haque#ixzz0jbKorobc

Ride

2010-03-27T03:02:00.005-04:00

It's midnight and I am quite ready to lay in my bed.

But, I haven't turned off my computer in over 4 days. I figured it was time. I began saving documents and closing programs one by one. I clicked the last "x" with a sigh of relief. At long last, I saw my precious desktop. And that, my friends, reminded me of a ridiculous little commitment that I made a few days back. A 95 dollar commitment, in fact.

To ride my bike.

I'm going to ride it for 100 miles. I've never done that before. Today I rode 22 miles, and frankly, I'm tired. And this is not just any 100 miles.

This all could turn out very poorly.

I'll clarify the "special-ness" of it all on Monday. Until then, take notice below:

Shady Gauges

2010-03-25T01:13:00.010-04:00

I braved a seriously shady and deserted part of town at 11pm to take these pictures. Oh how shady and deserted places pull at my heartstrings! Enjoy.

More Pics From Spitaly (Spain+Italy)

2010-03-23T02:09:00.009-04:00

A Roman Fountain at the Roman Forum spewing water from the ancient Roman Aqueducts (below). Whoa, that's deep.

The Roman Forum (below).

La Boqueria Food Market, Barcelona (below).

The Pantheon

2010-03-22T01:07:00.004-04:00

I unexpectedly appeared in one of these shots. Can you see me?

Video Bonanza

2010-03-18T23:51:00.004-04:00

Around Barcelona

2010-03-17T14:38:00.007-04:00

Carvings from the facades of Sagrada Familia (below).

Effectively, the drink menu at a tapas bar (below).

Street signs, so cool (below).

Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya

2010-03-15T00:11:00.006-04:00

Remember when I found that radical "dresser" in Barcelona? I found it inside this museum.

An inventive tripod and a bit of patience (there were lots of people walking by screwing up the shot) paid off (below). 10mm, 6 seconds, f/20, ISO 200.

Don't Forget To Look Down

2010-03-12T00:24:00.002-05:00

I submit that escalators look cooler in Barcelona.

First, A Word On Travel Buddies

2010-03-08T14:26:00.004-05:00

The importance of a legitimate travel buddy simply cannot be overstated. Unfortunately best friends, even really good friends, don’t automatically make good travel buddies. A true travel buddy is hard to find because he/she must meet certain conditions that are entirely different from the conditions for good friend, good spouse, or good coworker.

I have a few good travel buddies. My buddies share my travel philosophy. We plan ahead, research our destination, but leave room for spontaneity. We sleep in cheap hostels and use the extra cash to travel longer and further than we otherwise could have. We often disagree on how to accomplish our objectives making the ultimate journey a thoughtful one. We make the people we meet a major part of the trip - taxi drivers, kids, store clerks - this is where the flavor of a place really exists. We travel smart and safe, but take a few risks when we can. And when we get cranky, or mean, or downright ridiculous, we get over it.

My dear Ma and Pa were my travel buddies in Spain and Italy. And while we didn’t stay in a hostel, they are undeniably Legitimate Travel Buddies.

New Format?

2010-03-05T16:31:00.002-05:00

Cut

2010-03-05T16:08:00.005-05:00

Spanish Furniture, A.k.a Art

2010-02-28T15:44:00.005-05:00

Howdy, Y'all! Barcelona was a grand ol' time. The food, well, don't go to Barcelona for the food. Fantastic city though - industrial and modern with beautiful beaches!

I encountered this glorious piece of "art" at the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya in Barcelona. The artist, whose name I failed to note, has a style heavily influenced by the great Spaniard Antoni Gaudi. Honestly, Gaudi's style (modernism) doesn't do much for me. And yet, how cool is this dresser? Very cool, I know. I'm pretty sure my calling it a dresser is a huge insult. That's really a shame though, because I've got nothing but admiration for every last detail. I want this in my house. Now. Or maybe one day, when I actually have a house. I think the porcelain gas-can-flower-vase I saw today would look great on top!

I will lay my head in Rome tonight. I like Rome. And the food, well, go to Rome for the food.

A Few Things Until Next Time

2010-02-20T03:56:00.004-05:00

I'm going to Barcelona. And Rome, because it seems like the right thing to do.

Hmmmmm, I hope there are high-voltage towers in Europe.

I will attempt to blog from these lands far away.

Otherwise, I'll see you in March.

By the way, hi Russia. I see you. How's the weather in Moscow? Keep coming back, ok? Ok.

In The Dark

2010-02-18T13:29:00.004-05:00

Same Image, Better Quality

2010-02-17T23:08:00.005-05:00

First off, glad thanks go to my Father and one helpful gentleman, Rich Smith. Here's why. Check out the photo above. Nice photo, to be sure, however, if you enlarge it (just click it), you'll see that it gets a wee bit grainy looking.

Now check out the photo below. Enlarge it too, for proper comparison. It was taken in the exact same spot as the picture above. Much less grain, eh? Subtle but important difference, I think. Also, you might note that the picture below was taken in much lower light, a condition that normally lends itself to more grain.

The moral of this story is increase the apeture, lower the ISO, utilize the "bulb" function, and invest in a remote shutter control. Ta-da!

TMI

2010-02-13T00:00:00.009-05:00

I dreadfully despise hair. Hair of any sort, really, because it makes me unusually anxious. When hair builds up in the drain, I want to vomit. When a lone hair shows up on the shirt of the lady sitting in front of me, I conjure up a sneaky strategy to remove it unsuspectingly. When I see a hair brush wound with thousands of hairs from thousands of uses, I gag. Hair, it’s everywhere: the laundry, wood floors, fabric chairs. Ugh! It’s a terrible, terrible thing.

Now, hair on the head, it’s tolerable. Barely. And only when it stays on the head. But, it never does that. It’s always falling out and making souls like me want to vomit. Hair that grows elsewhere, I think this world could do without entirely.

Did I mention that I love Asian people? Love them. You know why? No hair. Brilliant!

Also, hairless dogs. So cute in an “I’m sick and dying and need your love” kind of way. If I get one I will lotion its smooth flesh daily.

It should come as no surprise at this point that I’ve seriously considered laser hair removal. Oh blessed technology! I do acknowledge that it might seem like a really terrible idea to go pointing a laser at one’s own self, but it’s either that or constant gagging. So, for me, the choice seems pretty clear.

In November I began to grow out my armpit hair in anticipation of the laser. I was told, you see, by countless, well-intentioned folks that this terribly painstaking commitment was just part of the process. “You have to grow it out if you want the laser to work.” So, I let it grow. Sick.

In January I went for a consultation at a local spa. You know, the kind of spa where you get botox and chemical peels. Yeah, that kind of spa. The nurse who offered the consultation was nice enough, and very well-informed. At the end of our visit she asked if I’d like to feel a test pulsation with the laser. I said, “not really,” but she insisted that it would help me to make my ultimate decision about whether to pursue laser hair therapy. “When was the last time you shaved?” she asked. “November,” I stated proudly. “Oh, actually, the laser works best immediately after shaving.” That made me want to cry. Here I was with 3 months of hair grown UNECESSARILY. The nurse clearly didn’t have the same aversion to hair as I did, she shaved my entire right armpit for me. Then she zapped me five times. It really didn’t hurt. After that she gave me pricing information. That also made me want to cry.

The next time I showered I reached immediately for my razor with plans to even things up in the left armpit. But, something very unusual happened. I couldn’t bring myself to shave it. I tried. I reasoned and grimaced, but I simply couldn’t get rid of the hair. I had become unexpectedly attached. To my armpit hair! Oh dear me.

So, that’s my story. I let the right pit re-grow and I haven’t touched the left since November. Both sides disgust me equally but I cannot bring myself to shave. Obviously the laser hair removal is on hold.

The Right Pit. Apparently the test pulsations worked, see how things are looking sparse up top!

The Left Pit. Going strong since November.

Oddly, I feel much stronger with armpit hair.

Sick and wrong.

Simple Things

2010-02-11T22:49:00.006-05:00

The truth is that I've seen better days. Don't get me wrong, all things considered, my life is a terribly blessed thing. But there are some heavy things swimming around in this wee little head of mine lately. And if you've ever seen heavy things swim then you have an idea of how well that's going. These heavy things are complex and nuanced! That's why I've taken to finding joy in much simpler things, namely:

1. Bottled beverages. Non-alcoholic, of course, though it might be the wrong approach. Thomas Kemper Root Beer and Izze Grapefruit Soda are at the top of the list.

2. Homemade chili. With grated cheddar cheese and sour cream, naturally.

3. Mountain biking in mud. Somehow the mud makes this already radical sport exponentially more enjoyable.

4. Valentine’s cards. I’ve gotten a few in the mail. It’s nice to be loved.

5. The sky. It’s on fire. See below.

Beauty In Things Utterly Unatural

2010-02-10T04:16:00.002-05:00

I Did A Lot Of Trespassing Today

2010-02-06T22:43:00.001-05:00

And for the record, it felt very good.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

2010-02-06T03:35:00.004-05:00

Internet, it won't stop raining in Northern California. Three whole weeks of rain! I have begun to experience symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Woe is me! For what is a life in the rain? It is no life at all.

This Is Daniel.

2010-02-01T19:15:00.013-05:00

You met him before. Remember? He was just a wee little creature then.

A Perfectly Logical Place For An Orange Cone

2010-01-31T23:09:00.004-05:00

Hola Russia

2010-01-29T21:23:00.003-05:00

Look who came to visit Mugwump this morning. Welcome to Mugwump, Russia, I hope you're here to stay.

Things Without Faces

2010-01-29T00:11:00.005-05:00

I Really Do Need Your Help

2010-01-25T16:36:00.009-05:00

This is Nessa.

I like to take pictures. A lot. I like it so much that my I leave my tripod with legs fully extended in the back seat of my car for quick access. I even have a dedicated pair of “photography shoes” so that I’m never forced to compromise an image for fear of ruining a good pair of shoes! Those too have their own special spot in the car.

To capture the essence of a single moment in an image is powerful at worst, and exhilarating at best. Photography does something for me; it contents me at the deepest core of my innards. And my innards, well, those are things I try very hard to keep contented.

So photography makes me happy, but let me tell you about a major source of distress within my photographic repertoire. I don’t do well taking photos of people. Give me a rusty bolt, a tattered chain-link fence, or my tried-and-true transmission towers and I can make a picture that sings a worthy song. Faces, however, scare me. For one thing, they move. They’re also plastered on heads which are connected to bodies which belong to people. And people, they have judgments, expectations, and (gasp!) emotions. This all becomes quickly overwhelming to me, and my photos never turn out in the way I hope. That’s why I need your help.

If you have a photographic need that involves you, your family, or maybe your dog, then consider contacting me. My goal for 2010 is to get over my fear of faces! I make no guarantees about quality, but I’ll give it my best shot. I’ll take a plethora of photos free of any charge (barring extenuating circumstances) and provide you with digital copies. Depending on response, I may have to choose some opportunities and pass on others. This is first come, first serve and it may not last long. I do have a job after all…and a small but decent social life.

If you’d like to see a sampling of my photography, you can view those posts by clicking here. You’ll have to scroll to the bottom and click “older posts” to see most of my portraits on the next page.

Feel free to send me a message via facebook or leave a few words in the comments section below.

Now, what say you?

Testing The New Watermark

2010-01-24T18:47:00.006-05:00

Also, in the picture above, any of you photographers have suggestions to get rid of the glare spots from the moon? Does my lens need a cleaning? Can I use a filter?

A Year Of Mugwump Traffic

2010-01-24T00:23:00.003-05:00

(click to enlarge)

Yo Russia, where you at?

When Nature Calls

2010-01-23T23:35:00.005-05:00

Old Skool

2010-01-20T00:00:00.007-05:00

I am not ashamed to admit that today I found a song by Phil Collins and N'Sync in my iTunes library.

Phil Collins AND N'Sync.

Are you overwhelmed?

Yeah, me too.

I am ashamed to admit that I like the song.

2010

2010-01-18T00:39:00.004-05:00

It’s that time of year - the new part. The part where folks makes so-called new year’s resolutions. I don’t do that. I review and revamp my yearly goals. I don’t call them resolutions though, because if I’m really resolved to do something it’s probably already done. My goals, you see, are all about things I want pretty badly but I’m not totally resolved about how to accomplish them. So basically, they’re resolutions that I label as goals. Are you with me? Good.

The problem with goals is that a meaningful goal-setter sets goals in a certain way. You might have heard obnoxious people in your life preach about this. Goals should be specific, measurable, believable, and challenging. Write them down. Set a deadline. Totally obnoxious, right? Yeah, I am that person. Honestly, one of my goals is to set meaningful goals. And so I can definitively say that I am ridiculous, but I have great goals.

The trouble with being such an amazing goal-setter is that some things just don’t work when you make them specific and measurable. It takes the beauty and brilliance right out from under an otherwise perfectly good idea. This is the part when I become a frustrated goal-setter. I feel stunted. My goal to set great goals feels unmet. Oh the angst!

Anyway, you can picture how all this is putting a major damper on the start of 2010. But fear not, I do believe I’ve created a fitting solution! I dedicated one whole page of my goal book to goals that are un-measurable, vague, and decidedly very random. Here’s how it looks so far:

Read 1 letter of the encyclopedia from beginning to end. Perhaps “K”.

Visit every country on the globe.

Build a snowman in Siberia.

Summit a peak above 20,000 feet.

Spend a week in absolute silence.

Visit the Great Wall of China and understand its historical implications.

Perform a stand-up comedy routine.

Learn to play the harmonica.

Hold a political office.

People, it doesn’t end there. This whole “goals without restraint” thing is making me totally giddy. I just might have to dedicate a second page to the cause. This is the part where I become a liberated goal-setter. Whoa, it feels nice!

What's the goal that you're afraid to write down?

Have You Seen Enough?

2010-01-17T00:06:00.008-05:00

Hairy

2010-01-11T21:34:00.003-05:00

You might be thinking that my hair doesn't look any longer than last time you saw it. Well, this picture was taken a few hours after the most dramatic haircut I've had in over a year. It was crazy, my stylist cut off nearly an inch! I wanted to tell her to just keep cutting, and cutting, and shave it all off. But, I restrained myself.

New Year, New Design

2010-01-09T18:32:00.011-05:00

"To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing." --Raymond Williams

Oh that I can be a "radical" catalyst of hope and not despair! I wish it so very much.

Thoughts on the new design? That old design was so 2009 (so 2006 even). I'm over it, and on to bigger and better things.

A Different View Of The Golden Gate

2010-01-07T18:09:00.002-05:00

Starting The Year Off Right

2010-01-04T01:26:00.002-05:00

I'm in a mood. I get into those sometimes. You might have noticed evidence of such in my last post titled "Bipolar?". Anyhow, the mood that's been persisting for the past few days looks like this:

1 part organization
2 parts de-clutter
1/2 part OCD
1 part New Year's Resolutions in full swing

It's dangerous, and I've been cleaning house on the blog too. My labels are all up to date, check them out if you like. I've added a few new "stellar sites" and "insipred imagery" links, these are sites that I spend a fair bit of time on, so maybe you will like them too. You may also note how I've axed a few friends from the "fabulous" list.

Dear Fabulous Friend,

My decision to remove your blog link from my blog is less an indiciation of your fabulousness (or lack of) and more an indication of a) your lack of posting or b) your decision to make the blog viewable by invitation only. Let me know when you get your act together and I'll add you back on.

Cheers,

Jes

Bipolar?

2010-01-03T22:16:00.005-05:00

I think I experienced a legitimate bout of mania (as in the manic part of manic-depressive) yesterday. I woke up at 5:30am, opened my eyes, and felt immediately ready to begin my day. Now, if you know me then you’re probably already worried because it’s rare that I’m up before 10:00am.

Nevertheless, and for reasons still unclear to me, I just couldn’t bare the thought of returning to slumber in my warm bed. “What’s a girl to do at 5:30am?” I wondered. Well naturally, I reasoned that I should go and take pictures of high-voltage transmission towers at sunrise. Because that makes me happy inside my heart, and it seemed like I should try to be good to my heart at such an early hour.

Anyhow, I had eaten 2 buttermilk pancakes, snapped a plethora of “high-voltage” images, and returned home by 8:00am. The mania though was snow-balling into something fierce. By 8:30am I was bundled up and ready to work in the yard. The yard, I felt, needed immediate attention. I weeded two flower beds and raked the soil. I tore down our garden fence (it needs to be rebuilt), cleaned and weeded the whole garden, and replanted the strawberries.

There was a large pile of wood along the side of my house. For our fire pit, of course. But my roommate (bless her soul) had concluded that most of it was contaminated with arsenic. She’s psychic, I think, or maybe paranoid. Either way, in my manic state I figured we should get rid of it just in case! Well, two snakes, a large lizard, and one black widow later I was still going strong.

Oh, I also encountered a rat, and his nest (really, a rat’s nest). That wood pile was his home. And apparently had been for a while because there was about 3 cubic feet of poop I shoveled and carted away. By the way, I consider it a fantastic stroke of luck that I discovered the poop in my manic state because it made the whole experience barely tolerable instead of utterly repulsive. Anyway, the rat didn’t like the idea of moving out. He gave me his best shot at passive resistance when he attempted to get into an old milk crate via the 1inch holes on the side. His whole protest really went south though when he got stuck in the side of the crate. I’m not talking a little tripped up either, he was genuinely trapped. I tried to help the poor guy. Bad decision. Let me repeat, BAD DECISION. It only seemed natural to give his tail a little tug, but I pulled his tail right off! Then the rat began to bleed. He was still wedged, my mania intensified. I began to manipulate the rat’s various body parts trying to help him get unstuck. It was a wicked crazy few moments but eventually he was freed. Then I reasoned with him, apologized profusely (for the tail, and the destruction of his home), and asked him to leave. That went poorly. Ultimately, I utilized a broom and some skillful maneuvering to direct him elsewhere.

After that I swept out the shed, and boarded up some of the walls. My roommate kept checking on me and asking, “Jes, what’s going on? This is highly unusual behavior.” Mania, a decidedly unusual state!

Around 2:00pm my mind began to wander. I wanted to utilize this manic energy to clean my room and finish my laundry. So I gathered the tools into the shed and sprayed off my muddy shoes. But when I went to go inside, I found the door locked. My roommate, in all her psychic wisdom, had left for lunch and locked me out of the house.

That was the unanticipated, anticlimactic end to my whole manic experience. Let me tell you, nothing kills a buzz like realizing you’re locked outside your own home covered in sweat, filth, and rat poop. I tried every other door and window with no success. It was cold and my shoes were sopping wet. Mania had turned to depression in a remarkably sudden way. And so I just sat right down, considered the day, and waited for rescue.

Because The Sunset Really Was Mediocre

2009-12-31T21:02:00.009-05:00

I'd really like to improve my portaiture skills. I'll call this a forced start to that. However, if any of you internet folk are willing to allow me to experiment on you, or perhaps your child, I'd love to take your picture!

Which is your favorite?

San Gregorio State Beach

2009-12-31T03:12:00.006-05:00

The truth is that I did see the sign stating "Beach closed after sunset" when I parked my car. The sunset, in fact, was the reason for my visit. I had hopes of capturing its brilliant colors on my wee little camera. The sunset, however, was hardly inspiring. It was foggy and the cloud cover was thick. The colors I sought turned out to be simple variations on gray. Too bad, so sad.

I had driven over an hour to reach the beach, and I felt a bit dejected at the thought that my photography venture wouldn’t result in a single worthy image. I moped about snapping shots of this and that, trying to conjure up an image of the horizon. A few self-portraits lifted my somber mood (stay tuned for those).

When the sun had set far beyond the wall of gray, I turned toward my car and began to wander back. When I did, I came upon a wondrous silhouette of a bridge reflected onto the water by a full moon. A worthy shot! I snapped away.

I could see my car off in the distance, it was the only one left in the lot. After only a shot or two I saw another car pull into the lot shining its lights toward my Jeep. I kept snapping away, but soon I saw a figure shining a flashlight around the interior of my car. The same interior where I had carelessly left my wallet, phone, and extra camera lens. I immediately concluded that some thief had stumbled upon a perfectly opportune situation!

I had no intention of interrupting said thief’s burglary of my car. “What’s done is done,” I thought, “I’ll just sit tight until he leaves.” It seemed sensible to snap a few more shots in the meantime. After a few minutes though I was interrupted by a bright spotlight shining all around where I stood. Then a loudspeaker, “Stop what you are doing and return to your vehicle immediately.” My heart began to pound. I snatched up my tripod and began to move backwards. The spotlight followed me. “This is the California State Police. This beach closed at sunset. Return to your vehicle immediately.” I felt slightly relieved, and laughed nervously at the situation.

The hike to the parking lot meant crossing over a small lagoon of fresh water. Unfortunately, 1 inch of water had turned into 6 inches in the time since I had first crossed. Wet feet, very wet.

Back at my car I was greeted by an irritated female officer who rolled her eyes at my approach. I apologized profusely and told her I hadn’t meant to cause any trouble. She called it a warning and said condescendingly, “I won’t write you a ticket this time…but please, in the future, pay attention to the signs!”

Ok, maybe.

My Homeland

2009-12-30T17:16:00.004-05:00

Approaching the runway in Salt Lake City.

More Of The Ordinary

2009-12-22T00:21:00.009-05:00

That white line in the shot above is a plane.

Taken In The No Trespassing Zone

2009-12-21T00:34:00.012-05:00

Oh World, how is there such beauty in the ordinary? Answer me that.

Taken in the San Francisco Bay.

Ok, I Know The Video Was Sub-Par

2009-12-18T23:06:00.012-05:00

Action-Packed Kayaking

2009-12-18T22:41:00.005-05:00

My roommate took me kayaking for my birthday. It was a little inlet from the Sea. Good times were had. Here is a little sampling of the excitment:

Mayo.

2009-12-16T01:46:00.004-05:00

It is lunch hour at the Hospital Cafeteria. I purchase taco salad and head towards the exit.

I pass the condiment dispensers. An unassuming woman is poised over the mayonnaise. She pumps a good-sized dollop onto her index finger. I slow my pace, staring shamelessly. She raises the glob to her mouth and sticks out her tongue. She licks. In between licks she pauses, smacks her lips and gazes up in deep thought. Her brow furrows after the third lick. A healthy drop of white goo remains on her finger.

She pauses, then walks away. Away from the napkins. Away from the trash can.

I appreciate the perplexity of life and move along.

An Early Birthday

2009-12-07T16:07:00.009-05:00

I recieved the most delightful kind of voicemail from my Father a few weeks back. He had a practical yet loving tone to his voice like he always does. He said I'd be recieving a package in the mail from him, that I should look out for it. "It's for your birthday...or Christmas, or whatever's coming up next," he explained. So great!

Well, it was the most lovely of gifts. A usuable, wished-for gift I would never have gotten myself. It was a new camera lens. And it's the shiniest, most handsome piece of glass a person could lay their eyes on. The point is, I like it.

Here is the result of the first trial run:

Back In Business

2009-12-04T17:51:00.031-05:00

It was difficult to find a computer service store to help me out in my moment of need. Because um, uh….. I use a PC. In Silicon Valley. Homeland of Apple. I am an outcast, misunderstood, perhaps even unliked. I live amongst Mac People. Accordingly, no self-respecting computer nerd would be seen tending to a PC here. That kind of transgression could seriously damage a reputation.

I generally use Yelp.com for any local business needs where I don’t already have a favorite/reliable merchant. But Yelp had nothing. There were ample reviews of the various Mac service stores but listings for the PC stores had only 1-2 reviews (a major Yelp red flag).

Ultimately, I performed a simple google search for stores in my area. I found a small, locally-owned shop that had an informative website and reasonable prices. I couldn’t find single review of the place anywhere online. My gut told me it was the right place though, so I delivered my sputtering PC a few days back.

Small was really an understatement with regard to this store. It made up a sliver of a stripmall that ran the whole block long. The inside was poorly lit with a mish-mosh of computer parts (some used?) lining the walls. Just past the counter was a door to the backroom. When I entered the store I could see a group of four men chatting there. This room had a whole different look. It was bright, filled with bins of wires and motherboards. The men were young to middle-aged, invariably overweight, and totally geeked out. There was an audible buzz which I can only assume was the plethora of appliances, computers, and monitors demanding power in that small area. I knew I had chosen the right place.

I picked my computer up today. When I stepped up to the counter to pay though all the wrong words came out. I quickly mumbled a comment about how I must have been experiencing a touch of dyslexia. Andrew, who was effectively the epitome of a computer geek, simply smiled and swiped my debit card. After a few moments though he said, “Yeah, I’ve got that too.” I looked up puzzled. “I’m always mixing up certain letters and numbers, it’s really bad.” “Oh,” I replied, “well it seems like your pretty good at fixing computers anyway.” “Yeah, I am,” he admitted. I signed the receipt, scooped up my computer, and wandered toward my car. When I looked down to locate my keys though, I noticed this sticker to my utter delight:

Apparently, I needed to tap into my dyslexic side a little more seriously if I had any hopes of healing my computer. Because ever since I plugged it in and powered it up, its been working like a charm!

Bleak, Things Are Looking Rather Bleak

2009-11-29T02:31:00.008-05:00

You might have noticed that its been slightly longer than usual since I last posted. Forgive me for a moment while I share a few of the reasons why:

1. Apparently Jon from Long Beach discovered my debit card info a few weeks back and decided to start his Christmas shopping early. Camera accessories, swimming gear, and motorcycle parts - clearly its going to be a good Christmas at his house.

2. The folks at the Bank of America call center are very cheerful but not nearly as helpful.

3. Shortly after Jon finished his Christmas shopping, my computer was attacked by Satan Himself (a virus).

4. It turns out that McAfee Antivirus Software is not familiar with Satan Himself.

5. Dell Computer Support has been officially %100 outsourced to India.

6. It turns out that the only way to get rid of Satan Himself is to reformat the hard drive of one's computer, reinstall the operating system and start from scratch. How refreshing! It's like spring cleaning, only less dust and more suicidal thoughts.

7. I, depsite generous support from my Brother and Father, am not very good at the steps outlined in reason 6.

One week later, hours of my life gone forever, and my computer continues to sputter, choke, and generally function half-heartedly. It is rare that I feel so deeply defeated at 11:43pm on a Saturday night. But folks, that's my reality.

I'm giving up. My computer has earned itself a trip to the computer store. I will pay the 79$ and never look back. This is for the sake of my sanity

Accordingly, you might not hear from me again for a while. Until then, watch out for Satan Himself and Jon from Long Beach.

Update On The Mane

2009-11-18T02:00:00.003-05:00

Mostly, it is unruly.

Sure, Geese Are Nice!

2009-11-06T01:07:00.011-05:00

More Of The Girls!

2009-11-01T17:06:00.006-05:00

My Sister-in-Law/Justin's Lover/Heather, despite her size - rather small - has got hops (below)!

Lovely Ladies (below).

Spencer's Lover/Jenn wandering about Crissy Field (she's in the red jacket!). Wish I had captured the whole shadow of the tree...think it would have changed the shot (below)!

One Cloudy Day

2009-10-31T14:08:00.008-04:00

I simply couldn't keep up with the sky. Every moment was a new image - gray, blue, massive cloud cover, little wisps. Oh the delight of my soul!

The Girls And The Clouds!

2009-10-24T01:40:00.008-04:00

Below are some super important ladies in my life - all my brother's lovers, my Mother, and my dear Aunt Pam. It turns out that they are intelligent, thoughtful women who do good things in their lives. They also seem to love me. How nice!

(Above) At the Palace of Fine Arts in San Fran last weekend! In order of appearance: Lover #1/Justin's Wife/Heather, Lover #2/Christian's Wife/Jessi, Sheila/Enough Said, Aunt Pam/So Delightful, Lover #3/Spencer's Girlfriend/Jenn.

(Below) The clouds I spoke of.

Rainy Day

2009-10-20T00:22:00.004-04:00

The onset of Fall weather brings stellar clouds. I like stellar clouds. More to come.

All The Rest

2009-10-10T00:21:00.020-04:00

Below you will find a few of my final favorites from my trip to Africa in July.

Team meeting happened most mornings and every single night. This is a place where emotions settled and ideas grew. (above)

In case you're wondering, yes, there are penguins in South Africa.

This is the Children's Resource Center. When I arrived in Zambia, this wall was a blank slate with some pencil sketches. Our group painted by number!

Carol Zulu died last month after a fierce battle with HIV/AIDS. Carol lived her 15 years with a spiritual transparency that most humans hope even to have a glimpse of in their time. (above)

Hair Grows....And Fros

2009-10-01T23:37:00.009-04:00

Occasionally I complain about long(er) hair and the plethora of disadvantages it forces upon otherwise happy people. Naturally, the topic of blow-drying usually comes up in this kind of conversation. You've heard my thoughts on this matter: blow-drying is a sin. Period. Nothing good comes of it, it should be avoided at all costs.

Anyhow, a well-meaning soul suggested to me recently that I might be much happier if I simply didn't blow-dry my hair. "I bet your hair would look great even if you didn't blow-dry it," she asserted. And so, Well-Meaning Soul, I give you Exhibit A:

And now, Exhibit B: post blow-drying.

And so, I think I will continue my sinful blow-drying activities...

A Bed For Lovers*

2009-09-30T19:31:00.010-04:00

This is the second floor of a bungalow in the Tanzanian Jungle overlooking the ocean. The bed is the centerpiece of the whole structure. It nearly takes up the whole second floor if you count the massive mosquito net that covers it. The bedspread is a simple, suitable zebra-print! At the head of the bed is a window covered by a straw-thatched shutter. A thick rope-pulley opens the shutter from across the room with substantial muscular effort (its heavy!). A short stretch from the foot of the bed are double doors that open to reveal a hammock hanging on the balcony and a fresh ocean breeze.

This is a place that could make even the most stoic of realists feel a little dreamy. And the bed, in my opinion, is a bed made for lovers*. It is situated perfectly, and sends a clear message: people who are in love should lay down here. I got the message.

I spent the night on that bed with Heather. She is not my lover. She is master back-scratcher and wonderful friend, but definitely not a lover. It was a good night, I slept nicely (even though romantic ocean breezes can be quite cold in the end). I slept on my side of the bed, wrapped in my half of the zebra spread.

In the morning I sensed the bed's dissapointment. I had no remedy. I too was left wanting. So perhaps one day under different circumstances, I will return to that bed. I will sleep in it properly for it's sake, and for my own.

*For those of you that despise the term “lover”, you really must reconsider (and redirect) your hatred. Lover is a word that simply must be used (and abused!).*

Soccer: US vs. Zambia

2009-09-30T19:09:00.005-04:00

I regret to inform you that I did not contribute to the US victory in any way. I am large and uncoordinated in a surprising way. These facts play out rather poorly on the soccer field. I took pictures instead:

Not Exactly How I Had Pictured It

2009-09-26T00:34:00.012-04:00

The Big Five” is a phrase that held no meaning for me before Africa. But in Africa, while on safari, it was the most popular topic of conversation.

The Big Five are the five most difficult animals in Africa to hunt on foot. Let me assure you, as a general rule in my life, I do not hunt anything on foot (or by any other means). Anyhow, I was informed that any legitimate safari in Africa must include sightings of The Big Five: lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo, and black rhino.

Naturally then, when I set out on my 24 hour safari, I hoped for a glimpse of all five. “One day is not much time,” I was told by safari veterans, “and the animals are unpredictable.” I felt a little disappointed, it seemed unlikely that I’d get my chance with The Big Five.

Within the first hour our group had come upon a rather friendly group of buffalo, some grazing elephants, and an elusive rhino. One, Two, Three: check. My hope was renewed. As the day wore on though we kept having repeat sightings of elephant, buffalo, and rhino…but no “cats.” The cats, I came to learn, are much more difficult to find.

In the afternoon though we stumbled upon a group of safari vehicles watching a leopard across the river. We joined the show. Number Four: check.

I had high hopes for a lion sighting. Our safari guide, Jafta, was a native South African. He was a quiet man who seemed intimately connected to the land and animals of the region. I figured if anyone could spot a lion from, it would be him. Sure enough, we were driving along merrily when he suddenly pulled off the road onto a path overlooking an open field. “There are lions,” he stated. We looked around puzzled, seeing only the grassy brush. “There he pointed, lying down, there are two of them.” Off in the distance we could see them. They were relaxed, their faces turned toward the setting sun. Our group wished to be closer, it was difficult to see the cats clearly. We spent nearly 15 minutes there, craning our necks, awed by every movement. Number Five: check.

I convinced myself to look away from the lions for a moment to stretch my neck. My muscles relaxed slightly as I pulled my head to the left, then to the right. As I did I glanced out the opposite side of the vehicle. There, opposite the all-consuming view of the lions, was the utterly delightful landscape pictured below. My picture of the lions is terrible. It’s blurry and you can hardly see the animals even though I zoomed as far as I could. But, this gorgeous piece of land is my reminder of that moment.

For me, this is when photography delights me the most. I often dislike images I take of a beautiful sight…I struggle to portray the whole experience. In this instance, rather than shooting the subject of my experience, I captured the essence of my feelings. I think it turned out quite nicely.

Victoria Falls, Southern Zambia

2009-09-21T16:29:00.007-04:00

Photos can only attempt to capture the immensity of this place.

Juggling Glass

2009-09-15T23:13:00.015-04:00

I recently had a little mishap in the kitchen. It ended poorly, or more specifically, at the local Urgent Care Center.

Let me just state for the record that having a needle of lidocaine shot into your tender little fingertip is painful. Really painful. Enough pain to make a person pass out. So, naturally, that's what I did. That turned into a bloody mess. Literally.

In the end, I left with a nicely bandaged digit and a bottle of gatorade!

Oh, and 5 perfect little sutures.

It looked sort of gruesome and frankensteinish. My patients loved it. More empathy, I guess.

With time, it began to look better...

...and better.

One of the stitches fell out. Minor setback.

After the alotted 8 days, I removed all the stitches.

You know what, I think I'm going to live.

Spicy

2009-09-14T22:10:00.007-04:00

I took these photos during a “spice tour” on the island of Zanzibar off the eastern coast of Tanzania, Africa. My experience in Zanzibar was contradictory, leaving me feeling ethereal and shady all at once. The beaches were surreal, the police corrupt. Stone Town was charming but I couldn’t help but sense a tinge of hostility in the air.

Anyhow, spices used to be the main export of this island, and while spice trading has mostly moved outside of Zanzibar, there are still active plantations. I visited one with my ever-trusty travel buddy Heather. It was radical in the most unexpected way.

We were led around by two fantastic Zanzibarian men who knew loads about plants and spices. We sampled ginger root, cinnamon bark, and black pepper leaves. We smelled clove trees, tasted a horde of native fruits, and drank lemongrass tea (with freshly picked lemongrass leaves!). Our guides even weaved banana leaf handbags for us! How nice.